I'm Finally Me
by PatrickJ87
Summary: "Lydia, do you still-?" trying not to choke on what might be my last words. "I do. I do still love you. I do, I do still love you." She repeats, reinforcing it into my brain, reinforcing it into my heart.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is a Jydia fic about how Lydia saves Jackson, and a stand p.o.v from Jackson. Mentions of Stydia, but just as a friendship; it's not terribly long, but at moment it is a one-shot, but if anyone like it, and want more, I can continue. **

"Jackson! Jackson?"

Stepping away from the Jeep, the Kanima walk towards Lydia, it's tail swinging, and it's claws secreting its paralytic toxins. Just as the Kanima is about to strike, Lydia quickly raises her arm and shows me something. I look through the eyes of the Kanima, desperately searching for a a way out, and into Lydia's arms. But I can't. I'm in to deep. The Kanima see's Lydia hold up a key, and while the Kanima stares at it in wonderment, I instantly recognize it from the night Lydia and I, became.. exclusive. She was just suppose to be a booty call, but she's special.

* * *

_"Here, it's to the front door."_

**"A key to your house? Already?"**

_"What it's, it's not a wedding ring."_

**"Oh, so you're just making me a more accessible late night booty call?"**

_"Late night, afternoon, early morning..."_

I lay my soft kisses between her neck and shoulder until I just lay there peacefully, at one with myself.

* * *

I grab the key, and realize I'm shifting back to Jackson. Back to me. I stare at the key with intent, wondering how Lydia how got back the key she gave me a few weeks ago when we were in Scott's bedroom. I hear Derek huffing and holding his stomach from where the Kanima had injured him. I slowly back away from Lydia, knowing I'm doing this to save her; to save them from the monster I was. I hold out my arms as a saying of that I'm ready. My eyes water, and although I close them, trying to believe that this is a dream, and that when I open them I'll be back in my bedroom the night I filmed myself. I nod to Derek, knowing I'm ready. When I felt Derek and Peter's claws enter both sides of my body, I knew it was inevitable, what they had been talking about ever since I had became that monster. To kill me; to finally restore peace in Beacon Hills. And to them, and everyone else; I was dead. I felt their claws exit me, and when they did I slowly started to fall, crumbling to my knees, everything in me failing. I'm no longer the Kanima, I am no longer indestructible, and nor I am a werewolf, so I don't heal. I just fall until I am secure in Lydia's grasp. While I fell to the floor, I laid my eyes upon Lydia. Her beautiful face being the last thing I wanted to see before I accepted that this was my untimely death. Time has slowed, Lydia has tears sliding down her face. Lydia.

"Lydia, do you still-?" trying not to choke on what might be my last words.

"I do. I do still love you. I do, I do still love you." She repeats, reinforcing it into my brain, reinforcing it into my heart.

I collapse onto her shoulder, dropping the key I tried so hard to hold onto. She still loves me, and I... love her. I was human; I was ordinary. And I was also dead. I was still Jackson Whittemore, still the orphan whose parents died before he was even born. My search for power began only to please. I acted the way I did, because I thought that is what people expected out of someone like me. I wanted to be like McCall. I begged Derek. But instead, I turned into a monster, with no identity; no pack; no family. I accepted that this was it. McCall was a werewolf, and I was dead.

The floor was cold on my bare body. Hearing the heartbeats of everyone in the room, and the claws attached to my fingers were being stationary but start to twitch. All of a sudden I feel strength coursing throughout my veins. It makes me feel omnipotent; powerful. Suddenly I feel the wounds on both my stomach and lower back start to heal fast. I open my eyes and take my first breaths of life; of being resurrected. I rise; slowly, leaving my claws to be lifted last. Until I am erect and I release a howl from my mouth that rattles the entire building. Shaking Derek, Allison, Lydia, even that kid who use to live down the street from me. When I feel that I have fulfilled my desire to make my presence known, I buckle over, but quickly regain stature and I glance over to Lydia, and she runs into my arms. I grasp her, holding her to me. Like Allison is Scott's anchor to staying human; Lydia shall be mine.

I am a werewolf. Powerful, strong, wild. Stiles and I lock eyes, and I silently thank him. For loving Lydia when I couldn't. For when I was the monstrous Jackson, and for protecting her from the Kanima. Lydia whispers into my ear softly, "I love you, Jackson. I love you so much."

Smiling into her shoulder I realize I traveled so far for something that would give me power; the power to be the only Lacrosse Team Captain again. But right now it doesn't seem to matter anymore. I'm at peace with myself. I'm at peace with everyone. Even McCall, at least for while. Because now that I've got a real set of claws, I may need some help reigning them in.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know some of you have waited for a sequel, and I just got the inspiration to write one. So here you go :), enjoy. BTW this is set during season 3. I'm starting from where I think they will explain Jackson's disappearance.. Oh yeah, I've set it up for an actual storyline and plot and everything. So if you like it, please tell me any suggestions you would like to see. R&R please :) Of course I own nothing, as much as I wish I could, I can't. And if I did, Colton would still be on the show**

* * *

**(*Allison's POV)**

"Allison, I've called Jackson, everyday for the past two weeks, where is he?"

My ginger friend stated worriedly. I didn't know how to tell her. I didn't know what to tell her. Jackson ran away? My father killed him? Or should I tell her that he just died? The thing with Lydia is that she's smart, but emotionally—especially when it comes to Jackson—I just don't know how well she'd handle it.

"Lydia, Jackson's gone because he wanted to leave. That's what I can tell you from what I know. If you just wait, I could tell you..." I say, quietly but am quickly cut off by Lydia.

"You're lying to me. What is with everyone keeping secrets from me? Is it that important that I shouldn't know. And why is everyone always telling me to wait. Why can't anyone have now available. If you've forgotten I was attacked by some lunatic who bit me, a lunatic, who by the way still hasn't been caught! I spent two days freaked out of my mind walking around the woods naked. All of my friends—and yes you Allison—are acting like total nut cases. And yet you expect me to not be worried about my boyfriend. The person I love, to just forget him and let it go. Well, I'm sorry if you're not going to help me then you're no use to me."

Lydia quickly gets up and walks out of the room, storming off. I quickly get up off my bed to catch her but she's already out the door and in her car. My dad walks out to me and cradles me and asks me whats wrong. And all I say is;

"Jackson Whittemore is missing."

* * *

**(*this is where the commercial break would be :D)**

* * *

**(*Allison's POV)**

I walk back upstairs to my room and I quickly grab my phone desperately wanting to call Lydia and just explain everything to her. Or call Scott, who I need now making all my worries go away. Delicately kissing my neck, my lips. Making the pain go away as he slowly penetrates me. Making the sweetest love—that I know he's capable of— to me Maybe even my mother. I pause, I've thought of my mother everyday since her "death". I decide to call Scott. While it's ringing I quickly wipe my tears away.

"Hello" Scott answers

"Allison, hello." He says again. I missed hearing the sound of his voice.

"Scott..." I barely choke out. But I can't bring myself to say anything. Not after the way I hurt him. I hang up. Not wanting to do anything but sleep.

* * *

**(*Lydia's POV)**

I arrive home to my mother sitting at the dining table with my father and they're silently talking and reading the newspaper.

"Oh good afternoon sweetie, how was your day?" My dad perks up and says sweetly.

"It was fine, I'm going to my room, I'll eat later." I say with a quick hurry. Not wanting to really talk to them, just wanting to be by myself for a while. I enter my room and shut the door and lock it.

"Definitely don't want them coming in and interrupting."

I continue over to my bed and I glance over the picture of Jackson and I laughing and smiling in it.

"I'll find you, I promise. I don't know whether this was your fault or not, but if your hurt I'll help you." I grab a bag and neatly fold clothes into it. I pack all my necessities and I wait until my parents fall asleep to leave. I pack everything into my car and I drive away. Leaving my parents a note saying that I'm going to Allison's house for a project that could take a while. I don't know if this will work but I hope it does.

* * *

**(*Jackson's POV)**

"So, I left. They didn't need me there in Beacon Hills. I caused way more trouble than what I was worth. My only mistake was leaving Lydia. But I'm glad I found another pack." I say with a false grin, even though I make it look convincing. This pack, is not the normal pack I guess you could say. There's like 5 Alpha's and two beta's. And I'm the other beta.

"I just miss home." I add to my lengthy monologue I just gave.

"Why didn't you tell that one hot piece of ass you were fucking that you were gone?" Colin says.

"Hey, hey. Her name's Lydia and she's the love of my life. And I didn't tell her because I couldn't hurt her. Not again. Not after what I did to her." I add in retort to what Colin said.

Then out of nowhere Quinn and her mate Sam stand up and they say; "Well, here's what we can offer you. You find that, uhh, Lydia chick."

"Sam.." She looks at him with a smirk with her hazel eyes burning into his bright green. A smirk that could set ablaze to anything, even Hell.

"Fine, Quinn. You find Lydia and you bring her to us, and what we could take into consideration is to give her the bite. Make her your mate. On one condition." Sam says with a playful tone.

"Which is?" Dying to know the condition.

"You bring us the head of Derek Hale. He's irresponsible with his Alphaness. Turning every sad and depressed teenage in Beacon Hills into a werewolf. Plus that huge fight with the Hunters he got into. Plus he turned you into the Kanima. So he's proven he can't even show that he's a real alpha werewolf by turning someone into a correct werewolf. Not some were-jaguar or fucking Kanima. So you bring us the head, we'll give Lydia the bite. Deal?"

I stand up and I grab Sam's hand and shake it.

"Deal." I've just set my future. And it may or may not include Derek's severed head. But I have a plan and I kinda wanna see where it takes me.


End file.
